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Punishment Mode: Bodyguards Take on the CYO League


The CYO league season is upon us. This year, there is a new team that is ready to dominate the league. The roster for the Elkhorn Bodyguards is stacked. “Between guards and bigs, this team is filled to the brim with phenomenal talent,” head coach Andrew Busenbark ‘24 said.

Matt “Giraffe” Adam: First at guard, we have Matt “Giraffe” Adam. He is a sharpshooter who stands at 6’4. Opposing teams will have great difficulty getting a hand up due to his high release. Along with his insane shooting ability, Adam can use his height to snag rebounds.

Nadir “Tucker” Sarmin: At the forward position, we have 6’2” Nadir Sarmin. Sarmin is an athletic freak who will use his height and length to snatch boards and get to the rim. Sarmin can also hit the three ball when needed.

Ashton “Coghill” Schroder: At the other forward, there is Ashton Schroder. This man stands at a towering 6’2” and weighs a whopping two hundred and fifty pounds. Schroder will use his size to assert his dominance in the paint and protect the rim.

Sam “Shorts” Schwartz: At the other guard, we have Sam Schwartz. This man plays way above the rim and if the other team doesn’t look out, he’ll throw it down right over the top of you.

Finn “White Chocolate” Murphy: At point guard, there is Finn Murphy. Finn is a Mount Michael basketball vet, and he will use his skills he learned from the great Matthew Coghill to facilitate the Bodyguard’s offense.

Joe “Fish” Trautman: At the other forward, there is Joe Trautman. Joe stands at 6’2” and is 230 pounds.

Trautman, along with Ashton, will hold down the fort in the painted area. Joe will use his large frame to get rebounds and finish at the rim, thanks to Matthew Coghill’s “finishing series.”
Carter “Farter” Pearson: In the power forward position, there is Carter Pearson. Though he lacks skill, he was the CODE RED player of the year, so he will give maximum relentlessness, effort, and determination every minute. Also, Pearson’s work in the weight room will allow him to scrap for rebounds and play tenacious defense.

Thaden “Bebe” Wewel: Another power forward is Thaden Wewel. Thaden is also a Mount Michael basketball vet. He intends to transfer his ball-handling skills from bowling over to the basketball court.

Henry “Hungwy Hungwy” Stanek: Another big guard is Henry Stanek. Stanek stands at 6’1” and is really explosive with the ball in his hands. This allows him to blow by defenders and finish over the top of them. His go-to move is the “spin cycle” which is an automatic bucket every time.

William “Gus” Bruggeman: The point guard is Will Bruggeman. Though he is short in stature, it does not keep him from being an extremely productive player on the basketball court. He has an excellent basketball IQ and always finds the open guy. Along with that, he is deadly from long range. He needs to be guarded anywhere in front of the half-court line.

Daniel “Bwollins” Collins: Another power forward is Daniel “Yell Leader” Collins. Collins plans to use his Yell Leader skills to communicate on the offensive and defensive side of the ball. Collins has also put in an ample amount of work in the weight room which will allow him to utilize his massive frame to grab boards and finish through contact at the rim.

Luke “Baby Keem” Albers: At the shooting guard there is Luke Albers. Although Albers’ basketball experience is limited, he is still a predominant athlete on the floor. Some would compare Albers to Vinnie Johnson, the microwave. This is because Albers will heat up whenever his team needs him to hit clutch shots.

Andrew “Diesel” Tselentis: This man is a lot to handle. With 205lbs of pure muscle, Tselentis is bound to cause weight room issues, and if you aren’t careful, he will punish anyone that stands between him and the rim.

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About the Contributor
Andrew Tselentis
Andrew Tselentis, Reporter
Andrew joined The Mount Journalism team in 2022. Andrew also participates in football, basketball, track & field, choir, and powerlifting.
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